I think we all evolve as people. We all create new versions of ourselves constantly - maybe to fit in with a new group of friends, maybe when beginning a new path in life like university or a new job, or maybe just to become more comfortable and confident within ourselves. And the strangest thing about it is that - unless you want to dramatically reinvent yourself - we do it all completely subconsciously. One day you may begin to listen to a new style of music, another day you may pick out a dress that doesn't adhere to your normal style, and then all of a sudden you look back at an old version of yourself and realise you identify so little withthis person that you may as well be two different people.
Recently I've noticed a change in myself. Some people may just call this maturity - changing from a ditsy teenager to a young woman - but I think it's more like that I've found the ground that I'm comfortable on and I've settled on it. Yes, my personality will probably still change as I meet new people and travel down new paths of life, but I feel like I really know who I want to be now and I feel much more comfortable within myself. I am enjoying watching myself become this person.
When I first joined secondary school, I was desperate to fit in. I didn't necessarily wish to be popular, but I wanted to be liked and to establish long-lasting friendships. I didn't want to be the strange lonely girl I had become in my final year of primary school. But in order to fit in, I became somebody I really don't identify with now. I listened to Capital FM, became obsessed with Glee and began wearing make up to school just so I could be 'cool' and 'fit in'. I don't think I've done any of these things now for over 4 years and to be honest, I'm glad. Trying to be someone I wasn't just to be liked seems like such an immature thing to do now and I know I will never tread down that dark path again. But, on the other hand, I am also glad that I did go through this phase because it has made me aware of who I'm not and has contributed to my discovery of who I am. Never has the phrase 'You learn from your mistakes' applied so drastically to my life than now.
When I first joined secondary school, I was desperate to fit in. I didn't necessarily wish to be popular, but I wanted to be liked and to establish long-lasting friendships. I didn't want to be the strange lonely girl I had become in my final year of primary school. But in order to fit in, I became somebody I really don't identify with now. I listened to Capital FM, became obsessed with Glee and began wearing make up to school just so I could be 'cool' and 'fit in'. I don't think I've done any of these things now for over 4 years and to be honest, I'm glad. Trying to be someone I wasn't just to be liked seems like such an immature thing to do now and I know I will never tread down that dark path again. But, on the other hand, I am also glad that I did go through this phase because it has made me aware of who I'm not and has contributed to my discovery of who I am. Never has the phrase 'You learn from your mistakes' applied so drastically to my life than now.
There have been a number of things that have made me realise that I'm transforming into something new and that have encouraged me to embrace this change.
I recently rediscovered my Tumblr account after a couple of years of absence and realised how my interests have completely changed. My account had been dedicated to Sherlock (particularly gifs of Johnlock), Dan and Phil (amongst other Youtubers) and Benedict Cumberbatch and I had been obsessed with blogging, reblogging and favouriting anything even faintly #relatable. Now, although I do still love Sherlock and watch youtubers from time to time, my interests have changed to folk music, languages and linguistics, and Doddleoddle (yes, a youtuber, but also an inspiration for who I aspire to be as a person style-wise, speech-wise, mentality-wise and life-wise).
And these interests have transformed me into a new person. Listening to this new style of music (as I am right now, writing this post) has influenced my life in such a positive way, by always keeping me uplifted and also by making me completely
reassess music and good musicianship. My interest in languages and linguistics has made me view the world in a totally different way and given me an aspiration which I am now driven to work towards. And when recently having a major sort out of my wardrobe, I ended up ridding myself of over half of my clothes as I no longer see myself as someone who wears (or suits) shorts shorts, tight tops or pretty and cutesy blouses and dresses - and now when buying new clothes for Autumn and Winter I am totally and utterly inspired by doddleoddle's fashion sense.
And although these seems like pretty menial things, together they have made me look at myself in the mirror and not only see myself as a new person, but a better person. Someone who seems happy. Someone who is slightly strange but is comfortable enough in their own skin to not care about being judged by others. Someone who is totally and utterly themselves. I am enjoying who I have become and who I am still becoming.
I recently rediscovered my Tumblr account after a couple of years of absence and realised how my interests have completely changed. My account had been dedicated to Sherlock (particularly gifs of Johnlock), Dan and Phil (amongst other Youtubers) and Benedict Cumberbatch and I had been obsessed with blogging, reblogging and favouriting anything even faintly #relatable. Now, although I do still love Sherlock and watch youtubers from time to time, my interests have changed to folk music, languages and linguistics, and Doddleoddle (yes, a youtuber, but also an inspiration for who I aspire to be as a person style-wise, speech-wise, mentality-wise and life-wise).
And these interests have transformed me into a new person. Listening to this new style of music (as I am right now, writing this post) has influenced my life in such a positive way, by always keeping me uplifted and also by making me completely
reassess music and good musicianship. My interest in languages and linguistics has made me view the world in a totally different way and given me an aspiration which I am now driven to work towards. And when recently having a major sort out of my wardrobe, I ended up ridding myself of over half of my clothes as I no longer see myself as someone who wears (or suits) shorts shorts, tight tops or pretty and cutesy blouses and dresses - and now when buying new clothes for Autumn and Winter I am totally and utterly inspired by doddleoddle's fashion sense.
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